Danger Bunny's Screen Caps - Survivor Fiji, February 8, 2007

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And so we begin the fourteenth season of Survivor: "I can't believe this show's still on the air" Fiji. This season we have twenty peo... What? She quit? The day we're to start shooting? Are you "Punking" me? Why'd she quit? "Because she doesn't like playing games"? She knew this was a reality TV show and not a personal ad, right? So what's going to happen to her? Really, the Fijian government will let us do that? We should film here more often.

Anyway, enough about the loser who quit before the game even began, we have a new crop of nineteen people (who's lives are so wretched that they'll willingly undergo activities banned by the Geneva Convention just to be on TV) ready to be belittled and ridiculed.

"Just below me are nineteen strangers who represent an extreme cross section of the Hollywood casting pool".
"They have been given absolutely no information, except for what we told them during the two weeks they've been in Fiji while we're prepping them for the show".

"Exile island is back. In previous seasons it's been extremely boring and has added nothing to the game but we've got a good feeling about it this time".
"Land, we've made it to land. It feels like we've been out there for weeks instead of the twenty minutes it really was".

"Boo? If my name wasn't Yau-man I'd so be making fun of you right now..."
"Hey Water! We found water".
"Where are you?"
"Over here, just follow the signs marked 'Water, This Way'".

"We found this big beautiful cave, it's a blessing. The ground is a little messy but one of the guys said it's bat guano. That's fine with me, as long as it's not bat shit I'm cool".
"My real name is Andre, but my Mom doesn't spell all that well and she spelled it Ondray and that's kind of embarrassing, so I go by Dreamz".

"My outdoor experience up to this point involved walking from the front door of the trailer to the pickup".
"Did Confucius say that?"
"No I just said that, do you have a hearing problem?"

"I told Cassandra I grew up in Borneo, which is very similar to Fiji. I just never mentioned that I never left my parent's basement".
"I don't know, there are nineteen of us, how do you split that up into two tribes? There is just no way it can possibly be done".
"Well they could have us pick two teams and the last one picked goes home like on Survivor:Paulau, or the last one picked goes to exile island then joins the first tribe to go to tribal council like on Survivor:Panama".

"We're looking around for machete, we're looking for flags, buffs, watching for wardrobe malfunctions, waiting for Jeff to show up and tell us what to do. How are we supposed to survive out here with no one telling us what to do?"
"Pilot to bombadire, pilot to bombadire. Bombs away!"

"Damn, we missed! Now what are we going to do with an odd number of contestants?"
"Swimming out there way faster than the boat is no way to get there quickly".

"Wow, you opened it! How did you know where to hit it to open it like that?"
"Down here on the corner, it says hit here to open".
"For Yau-man's sake I hope making all the young-buff-dudes look like effeminate wimps won't hurt him in the game".

"Before you do anything else you must find the hidden building materials. We've hidden them really well, so well that you have difficulty finding them even using the map we've included showing you right where they are".
"First I thought, 'this is awesome', but then I thought this is Survivor something really cruel is gonna happen real soon now. What do you guys mean, 'great idea'?"

"Being an architect I was given all the maps and told, 'here you figure out what to do'. I tried to explain that being an architect means I design buildings, I don't know how to build them. That's what we have engineers and construction workers for".
"I have the feeling that Sylvia is trying to dominate. Just because we gave her the plans and told her she's in charge of the construction she thinks that means she can tell people what to do".

"Is awhat?"
"Is askew".
"Here's what's gonna happen, anytime you use a big word like ascoot we have to take a time out and teach James what it means".
"Askew is five letters, it's not a big word..."
"Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
"Hell, no one understands the words that are coming out of your mouth".

"We need a guy".
"We do need a guy. A guy with a big package".
"The biggest".
"So a black guy then?"
"Well certainly not one of those Asians guys..."
"Now y'all just being silly, this water's too hot to drink. It's almost as hot as McDonalds coffee".
"Shut up or we'll start calling you Stella..."

"It's a coconut, if it was like the Flintstones it would be made out of STONE!"
That's just gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that!

"You misspelled 'shitty'".
"My way is to be annoying and get in everyone's face. That way I'll get the most screen time to use in my demo real".

"Come on in guys!"
"What about the women?"
"You can bring them with you if you want".
"Having an architect was extremely helpful building the camp".
"Because she could decipher the plans?"
"Because she can read..."

"So Sylvia really stepped up as the leader? Does that ring true to everyone else here?"
[everyone]"Yep, yah, un huh".
"Jeff, stop painting a bull's-eye on my back".
"You are now going to make enemies by dividing these eighteen people into two tribes".

"Everyone wearing a hat to the green line, everyone without a hat to the orange line".
"Boston to the orange line".
"Boston? is that nickname you're going by James?"
"I've got a lot of nicknames".
"Well pick one so I know what to call you".
"Well most of them the FCC won't let you use on TV, so let's just go with Rocky".

"Sylvia, you're not part of a tribe so you're going to exile island, but don't worry you won't be alone. There are thousands of deadly sea snakes out there. Well actually there are a couple of dozen but we'll edit it to look like thousands".
"The winners of the challenge get to stay in the camp you just built, you also get a barbeque, tons of food, a freezer and generator, running water, air conditioning, cable TV and high speed internet access. The losers? Get a rock".

"Jessica still working on the first bag!"
"Come on Jessica".
"I'm almost done".
"You'd better hurry, if we lose this we're voting you out".
"Higher, hold her higher..."
"Shut up Dreamz!"

"Jessica, struggling to figure it out".
"Why do you keep outing me Jeff?"
"Because you keep wearing too many cloths. We didn't cast you for your brains".
"One, two, three, four... what comes after four?"

"This is awesome, this is so nice. I'm glad we lost".
"Well I guess that will put to rest the question of whether Rocky is insane or not".
"Hey watch it white boy, no grabbing the goodies!"

"The worst thing for me was not going back to the shelter, that's even worse than the humidity frizzing the crap out of my hair".
"We're back at square one but we're happy about it. My psychiatrist would call that a classic case of denial".

"Me, Jessica and Rocky are really tight so that puts us in control this whole game because three votes out of nine is a majority, right?"
"We cant' get rid of Michelle, she's a little ninja, climbing things, jumping around".
"I'm not getting rid of Monkey, I call her Monkey".
"Do you call her that to her face?"
"Oh, hell no!"

"I feel so safe with Rocky, I mean did you see him in that Rambo movie? He kicked ass!"
"I'm not worried about voting out Jessica. My concern is keeping my scrawny 98 lb. ass in the game".

"We actually like our new island".
"You like your new island? Have you been eating those yellow berries we told you to stay away from?"
"Yau-man, you have to be concerned, with all due respect simply due to age. I mean, we cast people like you so that there are easy picks for the early boots".
"I'm somewhat concerned, but Jeff, I don't think you fully comprehend the amount of denial and delusion going on in this tribe".

"Mooky, any concern that having such a stupid name will work against you?"
"With all the 'Yau-mans', the 'Boos', the 'Dreamz', and the 'Boston/Rocky/Slys', kicking around, I feel pretty safe".
"Rocky, do you think the person voted out tonight will be surprised?"
"Yah I think so. I promised to tell her if I heard anyone talking about targeting her but I didn't so she has no idea.

"Jessica, would you be surprised if it was you?"
"Absolutely, Rocky promised to tell me if it was going to be me and he hasn't said a thing. Hey..."
"Jessica, the tribe has spoken. Nobody likes you".

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And so we begin the fourteenth season of Survivor: "I can't believe this show's still on the air" Fiji. This season we have twenty peo... What? She quit? The day we're to start shooting? Are you "Punking" me? Why'd she quit? "Because she doesn't like playing games"? She knew this was a reality TV show and not a personal ad, right? So what's going to happen to her? Really, the Fijian government will let us do that? We should film here more often. Anyway, enough about the loser who quit before the game even began, we have a new crop of nineteen people (who's lives are so wretched that they'll willingly undergo activities banned by the Geneva Convention just to be on TV) ready to be belittled and ridiculed.
"Just below me are nineteen strangers who represent an extreme cross section of the Hollywood casting pool".	"They have been given absolutely no information, except for what we told them during the two weeks they've been in Fiji while we're prepping them for the show".
"Exile island is back. In previous seasons it's been extremely boring and has added nothing to the game but we've got a good feeling about it this time".	"Land, we've made it to land. It feels like we've been out there for weeks instead of the twenty minutes it really was".
"Boo? If my name wasn't Yau-man I'd so be making fun of you right now..."	"Hey Water! We found water". "Where are you?" "Over here, just follow the signs marked 'Water, This Way'".
"We found this big beautiful cave, it's a blessing. The ground is a little messy but one of the guys said it's bat guano. That's fine with me, as long as it's not bat shit I'm cool".	"My real name is Andre, but my Mom doesn't spell all that well and she spelled it Ondray and that's kind of embarrassing, so I go by Dreamz".
"My outdoor experience up to this point involved walking from the front door of the trailer to the pickup".	"Did Confucius say that?" "No I just said that, do you have a hearing problem?"
"I told Cassandra I grew up in Borneo, which is very similar to Fiji. I just never mentioned that I never left my parent's basement".	"I don't know, there are nineteen of us, how do you split that up into two tribes? There is just no way it can possibly be done". "Well they could have us pick two teams and the last one picked goes home like on Survivor:Paulau, or the last one picked goes to exile island then joins the first tribe to go to tribal council like on Survivor:Panama".
"We're looking around for machete, we're looking for flags, buffs, watching for wardrobe malfunctions, waiting for Jeff to show up and tell us what to do. How are we supposed to survive out here with no one telling us what to do?"	"Pilot to bombadire, pilot to bombadire. Bombs away!"
"Damn, we missed! Now what are we going to do with an odd number of contestants?"	"Swimming out there way faster than the boat is no way to get there quickly".
"Wow, you opened it! How did you know where to hit it to open it like that?" "Down here on the corner, it says hit here to open".	"For Yau-man's sake I hope making all the young-buff-dudes look like effeminate wimps won't hurt him in the game".
"Before you do anything else you must find the hidden building materials. We've hidden them really well, so well that you have difficulty finding them even using the map we've included showing you right where they are".	"First I thought, 'this is awesome', but then I thought this is Survivor something really cruel is gonna happen real soon now. What do you guys mean, 'great idea'?"
"Being an architect I was given all the maps and told, 'here you figure out what to do'. I tried to explain that being an architect means I design buildings, I don't know how to build them. That's what we have engineers and construction workers for".	"I have the feeling that Sylvia is trying to dominate. Just because we gave her the plans and told her she's in charge of the construction she thinks that means she can tell people what to do".
"Is awhat?" "Is askew". "Here's what's gonna happen, anytime you use a big word like ascoot we have to take a time out and teach James what it means". "Askew is five letters, it's not a big word..."	"Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" "Hell, no one understands the words that are coming out of your mouth".
"We need a guy". "We do need a guy. A guy with a big package". "The biggest". "So a black guy then?" "Well certainly not one of those Asians guys..."	"Now y'all just being silly, this water's too hot to drink. It's almost as hot as McDonalds coffee". "Shut up or we'll start calling you Stella..."
"It's a coconut, if it was like the Flintstones it would be made out of STONE!"	That's just gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that!
"You misspelled 'shitty'".	"My way is to be annoying and get in everyone's face. That way I'll get the most screen time to use in my demo real".
"Come on in guys!" "What about the women?" "You can bring them with you if you want".	"Having an architect was extremely helpful building the camp". "Because she could decipher the plans?" "Because she can read..."
"So Sylvia really stepped up as the leader? Does that ring true to everyone else here?" [everyone]"Yep, yah, un huh". "Jeff, stop painting a bull's-eye on my back".	"You are now going to make enemies by dividing these eighteen people into two tribes".
"Everyone wearing a hat to the green line, everyone without a hat to the orange line".	"Boston to the orange line". "Boston? is that nickname you're going by James?" "I've got a lot of nicknames". "Well pick one so I know what to call you". "Well most of them the FCC won't let you use on TV, so let's just go with Rocky".
"Sylvia, you're not part of a tribe so you're going to exile island, but don't worry you won't be alone. There are thousands of deadly sea snakes out there. Well actually there are a couple of dozen but we'll edit it to look like thousands".	"The winners of the challenge get to stay in the camp you just built, you also get a barbeque, tons of food, a freezer and generator, running water, air conditioning, cable TV and high speed internet access. The losers? Get a rock".
"Jessica still working on the first bag!" "Come on Jessica". "I'm almost done". "You'd better hurry, if we lose this we're voting you out".	"Higher, hold her higher..." "Shut up Dreamz!"
"Jessica, struggling to figure it out". "Why do you keep outing me Jeff?" "Because you keep wearing too many cloths. We didn't cast you for your brains".	"One, two, three, four... what comes after four?"
"This is awesome, this is so nice. I'm glad we lost". "Well I guess that will put to rest the question of whether Rocky is insane or not".	"Hey watch it white boy, no grabbing the goodies!"
"The worst thing for me was not going back to the shelter, that's even worse than the humidity frizzing the crap out of my hair".	"We're back at square one but we're happy about it. My psychiatrist would call that a classic case of denial".
"Me, Jessica and Rocky are really tight so that puts us in control this whole game because three votes out of nine is a majority, right?"	"We cant' get rid of Michelle, she's a little ninja, climbing things, jumping around". "I'm not getting rid of Monkey, I call her Monkey". "Do you call her that to her face?" "Oh, hell no!"
"I feel so safe with Rocky, I mean did you see him in that Rambo movie? He kicked ass!"	"I'm not worried about voting out Jessica. My concern is keeping my scrawny 98 lb. ass in the game".
"We actually like our new island". "You like your new island? Have you been eating those yellow berries we told you to stay away from?"	"Yau-man, you have to be concerned, with all due respect simply due to age. I mean, we cast people like you so that there are easy picks for the early boots". "I'm somewhat concerned, but Jeff, I don't think you fully comprehend the amount of denial and delusion going on in this tribe".
"Mooky, any concern that having such a stupid name will work against you?" "With all the 'Yau-mans', the 'Boos', the 'Dreamz', and the 'Boston/Rocky/Slys', kicking around, I feel pretty safe".	"Rocky, do you think the person voted out tonight will be surprised?" "Yah I think so. I promised to tell her if I heard anyone talking about targeting her but I didn't so she has no idea.
"Jessica, would you be surprised if it was you?" "Absolutely, Rocky promised to tell me if it was going to be me and he hasn't said a thing. Hey..."	"Jessica, the tribe has spoken. Nobody likes you".