Last week we watched in stunned disbelief as the Older Women Tribe ("The Crones") voted out the only member of their tribe that could start a fire, find fresh water, catch fish or walk and chew gum at the same time. The remaining old-women had better hope there is some kind of merge soon or they will disappear quicker than an Ulonger at a Tournament of Champions. We found out from Shane that he's not only foolish enough to have a 3-pack-a-day cigarette habit but he's stupid enough to go cold turkey right at the time when he needs to be at his best socially. It should be fun watching Shane melt-down on TV but I doubt he's going to get a fair shake from the camera guys if he doesn't stop bugging them for a smoke. Misty was the first survivor to spend the night alone on [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island and completely failed to find the hidden Immunity Idol. I can't figure out "WHY" she couldn't find it! [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island isn't that big, there really isn't much of anything on the island to hide it under other than the water barrel. Her lame attempt to make everyone else think she found the idol was just embarrassing, let's hope she's not on the show to further an acting career. We've now wasted too much time recapping last week's show and we don't have time for the full opening credits. [Cue: Mini-Credits. Go!]
"Well, our shelter building skills aren't very good. Who knew that the storm would come in off the ocean? But it's OK, a little rain never hurt anyone. At least there's no lightni". [FLASH! CRASH!!! BOOM!!!] "Waaa, I want my Mommy".	"Uh, thirsty, must drink. I hope someone remembered to turn our cooking pot upside down so it doesn't get filled up with rain".
Why are they fuzzing this guy's face out? Is he a stand in for a real contestant?	"Die leaves die, I said die you filthy spawn from hell!"
"I'm beginning to question the wisdom of voting Lumber-Jill out so early in the game".	"Tada!" "Tada? Stephanie would have done that with a coconut!"
"I'm about to cry, it's like heaven, we have food". Be careful eating too much fruit or what you have won't be very heavenly.	"I'm thinking about every thing I'm missing right now, I'm thinking about cigarettes, cigs, smokes, cancer sticks. Hey, you got a smoke? Can I borrow a smoke, come on just lend me a smoke".
"Come on in guys!" "Man you look clean and refreshed Jeff". "The hotel we're staying at has a great laundry service and these jacuzzi tubs that are to die for".	"Four tribes are about to become two. In Palau the pick 'em game split the contestants into two tribes that were so well matched that we decided to try it again. Terry, Danielle. You get the first picks".
"I'll pick the cool guy in the back, the one that's coughing and wheezing. He looks cool".	"Courtney, your pick". "Uh, the gay guy". "Aras, breathes a sigh of relief that he's not picked last like he always was at school".
"Aras, you're choosing a woman". "Cirie". "Really? you pick her over Ruth-Marie?" "Yah, look at her. She's going to be an easy first boot!" "Hey, good call man".	"Ruth-Marie your pick. It's the ultra-white skinny rocket scientist who still lives in his mother's basement or the very capable Mr. Miyagi". "I hated that movie. I'll take the science nerd".
"Bruce, I've good news and gooder news. You're not only safe until after the next tribal council but you'll be spending the next three days alone on [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island and won't have to listen to everyone bitching and complaining".	"He looks like he smokes, you think he'd lend me a smoke? What about that guy, or her? I wonder if I can bum a smoke off her".
"The last two snakes are buried in a pile of leaves". "Leaves? Why does it have to be leaves?"	"Before we get started on the reward challenge, wanna know what you're playing for? Fishing gear! All of it guaranteed not to float".
"Koror La Mina who's going to be your snake wrangler? Nick. For Ulong Casaya, who's going to be carrying the heavy wooden snakes? Courtney? You guys are giving up already, huh?"	"Owe! When I said I wouldn't mind you poking me with your snake, that's not what I meant".
"Is that a cigarette? No god damn it, it's just a twig".	"Ewww, what's that smell?"
"Casaya, you guys work well together I don't even think you were out hustled. You're just losers".	"I definitely get along better with younger people, I've got the maturity of a five year old. That's why I get along so well with my kid".
"Like some like of like the like people like are like O like K, like Courtney like umm like..."	Giant Lizards!!! There are giant F'ing lizards!
"Here's the deal, it's the three of us and Aras. Can we not make it dramatic and like cheat on each other when there's five left? There'll be enough drama from my withdrawal that we really don't need any more".	"I won't betray any of you, I'm serious, I swear on my son's life". "Will you swear on a pack of cigarettes?" "I'm not that serious".
And here we have this weeks obligatory cleavage shot.	"Paddy cake, paddy cake, baker's man".
"This is definitely the team I want to be on. Terry and I have a strategy that's going to take us all the way, plus he's really cute".	"WHY is WHY is quotes? Is that a clue? WHY would they put WHY in quotes if WHY wasn't a clue?"
They wouldn't!	"I knew I had to do something weird while I was here alone if I wanted to get any airtime this week and I didn't feel like eating a worm".
"I've never used a spear before." "You'd better practice first, but make sure you take it out into deep water so you don't hurt anyone".	"Any sign of the spear?" "I can't see anything with these goggles all fogged up". "Well don't worry about it, you were going to be voted out first anyway".
"Misty how are you doing? We're doing great, everyone is upbeat and happy now that we all know who we're going to vote out first".	"Shane, how's it going at Casaya?" "I'm not going to lie to you, it's utter hell at Casaya. I had no idea I wouldn't be allowed to smoke on this show -- it's outdoors for crying out loud!"
"First tribe to get their zombie head on their zombie body wins immunity. Losers get their brains eaten".	"We lost again. I'm beat, I'm wiped out. I just want to take my ball and go home".
"I'm not well without 'em". "Your kid?" "My smokes!"	"Do you remember all that crap I said about sticking together and not letting each other down? Well forget it, I want to quit."
"If somebody wants to quit let 'em quit? Hey, the sound guy's ears are bleeding..."	"Shane man, you gotta stick around. After Bruce joins us and we have a majority, then we'll vote your ass out. You have my word on that".
"Aras just came over and announced that it was going to be Cirie or Melinda going home tonight. If I wasn't such a wimp I would have said something".	"We're screwed and there's nothing we can do about it. The other women are pissed off at Shane and Aras for being jerks but it's not like we could form an alliance with them and kick the guys off one by one before they can get individual immunity". "You're right, we might as well not even try".
Ahhh! More giant lizards! They're everywhere! Run, run for your lives!"	"So for you tonight, that's just the way it goes? Have you done anything to prevent it?" "I'm not just taking it laying down, I'm bitching and whining about it at tribal council".
"To me this tribe seems a little all over the road. It'll be interesting to see whether you can get your act together enough not to have a seven-way tie".	"Second loser voted out of Survivor: Panama".
"Bruce, drop your buff, welcome to Casaya". "Do I have to? Couldn't I stay on [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island for another week instead?"	"I just found myself on the tribe that's full of losers and I was a biggest loser".