Danger Bunny's Screen Caps - Survivor Panama, February 2, 2006

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And so, once again, it begins. Gone are the amazing Mayan ruins, the recycled losers, the alligators, the howling monkeys, the live sacrifices and the nerdy archeologists. This season our intrepid money-hungry, media-whoring survivors have been marooned on a deserted island in the South Pacific Ocean. What? Oh, they're off the coast of Mexico. What? Panama is part of Mexico isn't it? It's not? Then where the heck is it? Hang on....

Oh! There it is... (Thanks maps.google.com) Anyway, they're on a deserted island where it's hot, humid and they have to survive with nothing but their own wits, enough food rewards to feed a large African village and no other living souls (expect the 2,000 production people) within a ~~thousand~~ hundred ~~miles~~ yards. So the Survivors are here, Jeff "I control your destiny" Probst is here, my beer is here, the pizza guy has just pulled up out front so the pizza is almost here -- it looks like it's almost time to start this wacky show!

"Welcome to Survivor: Panama. This is [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island. Each week a contestant will be banished here, they will have to survive alone (not counting the camera crews) for 24 hours, 24 long grueling (boring) hours. But [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island holds a secret, a special immunity idol (no not Binky) will be hidden on the island if someone we like gets banished here by mistake".
"Each season we make a lot of money selling Survivor merchandise and a lot of that merchandise is affiliated with individual tribes. The marketing department came to us and said that they could make a lot more money if there were more tribes so they ordered us to start with four tribes this season".

"39 days, 16 people, 4 tribes, 1 huge paycheque for me".
This has nothing to do with the game, but manta rays are wicked cool.

"Welcome to Survivor, you've been split up into four teams according to sex and age. The four tribes are the Punks, the Hags, the Fogeys, and the Bimbos".
"Why am I on the old-women team? I'm not old. I've fourty-five years young".

"I would certainly prefer to have some females on our team, I've had more than enough 'male companionship' while I was in prison".
"Now I've got another surprise, just like on every other season we've ever had we're going to start by having you compete in a reward challenge".

"One member from each tribe will have to run all the way down to the end of the island and that's almost a hundred feet. Then they'll have to break open fake skulls until they find a broach then return".
"The first three people back win flint, the losing tribe will have to leave someone behind on [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island!

"For reward, survivors ready, get set... wait for it... Go!"
And here we have the first of many gratuitous cleavage shots.

"What's happening, I can't see anything".
"Neither can I, this is like being at a Formula-1 race".
These are supposed to be Terry's hands? I call shenanigans!

"Ugh! This is so much harder than crushing some poor slob's heart!"
"God is gonna help her".

Are you kidding me? God is going to help her smash a human skull to get at the trinket inside? You've got to be kidding me.

"Older women younger women, getting nervous?"
"I would be if I understood what was going on".
"I said I'd stay because I just lost the challenge but the other women said, 'that's not fair'. I'm teamed with morons!"

"The whole time I'm saying 'please god, don't let it be me', I guess god doesn't love me".
"Misty you'll remain on [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island until the first immunity challenge. But there is a surprise, hidden on the island are an immunity idol and Jimmy Hoffa's body. If you find the idol you can use it to avoid being voted out".

"If you find Hoffa's body the teamsters will be voting you out permanently, if you know what I mean".
"Younger guys, here's your script, now get out of here".

"Hey, powered boats nice. At least we don't have to pretend to row everywhere this season".
"As to your clue to the whereabouts of the immunity idol, it's somewhere on the island".

"Ah, ah ah ah ah ah".
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I decided I don't want to be here anymore so I'm playing the insanity card early".
"Hmmm, I wonder if the immunity idol is over there?"

"I wonder if it's under these leaves. Good think I'm not afraid of leaves".
"We walked up to the flag and I was relieved to see that we gots a machete and a pot to piss in. That's more than I gots at home.".

"Puff puff puff, this is really hard. I'm not used to blowing things".
The older women are performing really well, Tina has the most interesting background. And by interesting background I mean 'she used to be a man'".

"I'm freaked out by the leaves".
"With all the poisonous spiders and snakes, the mice, rats, bats, centipedes, scorpions, killer bees, wasps, poisonous fish, tropical diseases, infections and wild animals -- leaves should be the least of your worries".
"This beach should be safe, no Toms in the area".

Are they fuzzing out his butt crack or his back hair? Either way, woo hoo!
"Shouldn't we setup camp, find water and build a fire before we play base-coconut?"
"No way, if we did that it'd be too dark to play".

"Now try to get as close as you can without touching. If you touch someone else you have to kiss them".
"Do you really think this will start a fire?"
"It's already started a fire, in my pants!"
"If we get any soap I've got to remember not to drop it".

"That's our shelter? It reminds me of my first apartment".
"This place could work, it least it's flat".
"The feng shui is totally wrong, and the colours! Can't we find something that's not all greens and browns?".

"I like the other place better".
"What other place?"
"The resort we stayed in last night".
"We couldn't decide where to build our shelter. We need a guy to decide for us so we have somebody to bitch at about how we don't like it".

"Courtney's all out there about the symbolism of this dead sea turtle. I'm just disappointed it's too late to consider it food".
Is it just me or would that make a good valentine card?

"Wax on, wax off!
"Call me 'Tom-2'"

"I flew in the space shuttle".
"Really that's awesome. So with a couple of billion dollars you'd be able to build a fire?"
"I'm going nuts, I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day and they keep yelling at me every time I ask the camera guys if I can bum a smoke".

"I haven't had a smoke in 33 hours, 12 minutes and 42 seconds. If it wasn't for the crack I smuggled in I would have killed someone by now".
"Spending the night on [cue: creepy music and reverb effect] Skull Island was my worst nightmare. The whole night I had the feeling that someone was creeping around watching me".

"Hey! How come the young guys get purses?"
"We made them while you were wasting your time building a shelter".
I guess she was really scared last night...

"This is the immunity idol. I don't know if you've noticed yet but there is a strong 'skull' theme to this season".
"The first three tribes to drop their flags win immunity"
"Is 'drop their flags' a euphemism?"

"Nope, no smokes down there".
"Damn! Well unhook us and lets go check on the beach".
"I got it I got it!"
"The smokes?"
"No the puzzle diagram".
"Crap, keep looking".

"The older men have their ring free".
"How did they figure it out so quick, you'd have to be a rocket scientist to figuring this out that quick".
"That's a fish, and it's breathing".

No, it needs water to breath. What it's doing is suffocating.

"I scaled the fish to try to show that I'm not completely useless".
"Grab your torches and stick them in the fire and get flame. This is an important part of tribal council because I'm a pyromaniac".

"I think we did a good job of saying, let her take the ball, let her take charge, let her paint a huge bull's-eye on her back".
"It sounds like in many ways Tina is doing better than you".
"Well she did find the water, and build the shelter, and made the fire and caught the fish. But I scaled the fish and had the wardrobe malfunctions during the challenge".

"Melinda, any problem with Tina calling you a lazy slut?"
"No, that's fair".
"Tina. You are, the weakest link!"

"You've just voted out the only person on your tribe with any athletic ability. I'll see you all at the loser lodge shortly".
"We're only three days in and you've just voted out the strongest member of your tribe. I think we'll rename your tribe 'Ulong'".

And so, once again, it begins. Gone are the amazing Mayan ruins, the recycled losers, the alligators, the howling monkeys, the live sacrifices and the nerdy archeologists. This season our intrepid money-hungry, media-whoring survivors have been marooned on a deserted island in the South Pacific Ocean. What? Oh, they're off the coast of Mexico. What? Panama is part of Mexico isn't it? It's not? Then where the heck is it? Hang on.... Oh! There it is... (Thanks maps.google.com) Anyway, they're on a deserted island where it's hot, humid and they have to survive with nothing but their own wits, enough food rewards to feed a large African village and no other living souls (expect the 2,000 production people) within a ~~thousand~~ hundred ~~miles~~ yards. So the Survivors are here, Jeff "I control your destiny" Probst is here, my beer is here, the pizza guy has just pulled up out front so the pizza is almost here -- it looks like it's almost time to start this wacky show!
"Welcome to Survivor: Panama. This is `[cue: creepy music and reverb effect]` Skull Island. Each week a contestant will be banished here, they will have to survive alone (not counting the camera crews) for 24 hours, 24 long grueling (boring) hours. But `[cue: creepy music and reverb effect]` Skull Island holds a secret, a special immunity idol (no not Binky) will be hidden on the island if someone we like gets banished here by mistake".	"Each season we make a lot of money selling Survivor merchandise and a lot of that merchandise is affiliated with individual tribes. The marketing department came to us and said that they could make a lot more money if there were more tribes so they ordered us to start with four tribes this season".
"39 days, 16 people, 4 tribes, 1 huge paycheque for me".	This has nothing to do with the game, but manta rays are wicked cool.
"Welcome to Survivor, you've been split up into four teams according to sex and age. The four tribes are the Punks, the Hags, the Fogeys, and the Bimbos".	"Why am I on the old-women team? I'm not old. I've fourty-five years young".
"I would certainly prefer to have some females on our team, I've had more than enough 'male companionship' while I was in prison".	"Now I've got another surprise, just like on every other season we've ever had we're going to start by having you compete in a reward challenge".
"One member from each tribe will have to run all the way down to the end of the island and that's almost a hundred feet. Then they'll have to break open fake skulls until they find a broach then return".	"The first three people back win flint, the losing tribe will have to leave someone behind on `[cue: creepy music and reverb effect]` Skull Island!
"For reward, survivors ready, get set... wait for it... Go!"	And here we have the first of many gratuitous cleavage shots.
"What's happening, I can't see anything". "Neither can I, this is like being at a Formula-1 race".	These are supposed to be Terry's hands? I call shenanigans!
"Ugh! This is so much harder than crushing some poor slob's heart!"	"God is gonna help her". Are you kidding me? God is going to help her smash a human skull to get at the trinket inside? You've got to be kidding me.
"Older women younger women, getting nervous?" "I would be if I understood what was going on".	"I said I'd stay because I just lost the challenge but the other women said, 'that's not fair'. I'm teamed with morons!"
"The whole time I'm saying 'please god, don't let it be me', I guess god doesn't love me".	"Misty you'll remain on `[cue: creepy music and reverb effect]` Skull Island until the first immunity challenge. But there is a surprise, hidden on the island are an immunity idol and Jimmy Hoffa's body. If you find the idol you can use it to avoid being voted out".
"If you find Hoffa's body the teamsters will be voting you out permanently, if you know what I mean".	"Younger guys, here's your script, now get out of here".
"Hey, powered boats nice. At least we don't have to pretend to row everywhere this season".	"As to your clue to the whereabouts of the immunity idol, it's somewhere on the island".
"Ah, ah ah ah ah ah". "What the hell are you doing?" "I decided I don't want to be here anymore so I'm playing the insanity card early".	"Hmmm, I wonder if the immunity idol is over there?"
"I wonder if it's under these leaves. Good think I'm not afraid of leaves".	"We walked up to the flag and I was relieved to see that we gots a machete and a pot to piss in. That's more than I gots at home.".
"Puff puff puff, this is really hard. I'm not used to blowing things".	The older women are performing really well, Tina has the most interesting background. And by interesting background I mean 'she used to be a man'".
"I'm freaked out by the leaves". "With all the poisonous spiders and snakes, the mice, rats, bats, centipedes, scorpions, killer bees, wasps, poisonous fish, tropical diseases, infections and wild animals -- leaves should be the least of your worries".	"This beach should be safe, no Toms in the area".
Are they fuzzing out his butt crack or his back hair? Either way, woo hoo!	"Shouldn't we setup camp, find water and build a fire before we play base-coconut?" "No way, if we did that it'd be too dark to play".
"Now try to get as close as you can without touching. If you touch someone else you have to kiss them". "Do you really think this will start a fire?" "It's already started a fire, in my pants!"	"If we get any soap I've got to remember not to drop it".
"That's our shelter? It reminds me of my first apartment".	"This place could work, it least it's flat". "The feng shui is totally wrong, and the colours! Can't we find something that's not all greens and browns?".
"I like the other place better". "What other place?" "The resort we stayed in last night".	"We couldn't decide where to build our shelter. We need a guy to decide for us so we have somebody to bitch at about how we don't like it".
"Courtney's all out there about the symbolism of this dead sea turtle. I'm just disappointed it's too late to consider it food".	Is it just me or would that make a good valentine card?
"Wax on, wax off!	"Call me 'Tom-2'"
"I flew in the space shuttle". "Really that's awesome. So with a couple of billion dollars you'd be able to build a fire?"	"I'm going nuts, I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day and they keep yelling at me every time I ask the camera guys if I can bum a smoke".
"I haven't had a smoke in 33 hours, 12 minutes and 42 seconds. If it wasn't for the crack I smuggled in I would have killed someone by now".	"Spending the night on `[cue: creepy music and reverb effect]` Skull Island was my worst nightmare. The whole night I had the feeling that someone was creeping around watching me".
"Hey! How come the young guys get purses?" "We made them while you were wasting your time building a shelter".	I guess she was really scared last night...
"This is the immunity idol. I don't know if you've noticed yet but there is a strong 'skull' theme to this season".	"The first three tribes to drop their flags win immunity" "Is 'drop their flags' a euphemism?"
"Nope, no smokes down there". "Damn! Well unhook us and lets go check on the beach".	"I got it I got it!" "The smokes?" "No the puzzle diagram". "Crap, keep looking".
"The older men have their ring free". "How did they figure it out so quick, you'd have to be a rocket scientist to figuring this out that quick".	"That's a fish, and it's breathing". No, it needs water to breath. What it's doing is suffocating.
"I scaled the fish to try to show that I'm not completely useless".	"Grab your torches and stick them in the fire and get flame. This is an important part of tribal council because I'm a pyromaniac".
"I think we did a good job of saying, let her take the ball, let her take charge, let her paint a huge bull's-eye on her back".	"It sounds like in many ways Tina is doing better than you". "Well she did find the water, and build the shelter, and made the fire and caught the fish. But I scaled the fish and had the wardrobe malfunctions during the challenge".
"Melinda, any problem with Tina calling you a lazy slut?" "No, that's fair".	"Tina. You are, the weakest link!"
"You've just voted out the only person on your tribe with any athletic ability. I'll see you all at the loser lodge shortly".	"We're only three days in and you've just voted out the strongest member of your tribe. I think we'll rename your tribe 'Ulong'".