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 "Do you think you know Travis now?" "Do you mean in the biblical sense? Absolutely! They don't call it the fantasy suite for nothing". |
 "Are you tied to the West Coast?" "Well, my family is there of course. So I'd love to live somewhere else just as soon as I can find someone to pay the bills". |
 It's bad enough when they force the parents to state a preference, but to stick this little kid on TV saying she likes one or the other is just cruel and unusual (assuming that Travis and Sarah's relationship lasts past tomorrow morning). |
 "Since Travis let it slip that he and Sarah were engaged before the show even started the only thing I can do at dinner tonight is try to keep myself from stabbing him in the eye with my fork". |
 "I think Travis and Sarah make a great couple but we have to keep up the charade that Moana still has a chance". |
 "Has it been all you anticipated?" "No. I expected to have offers flooding in by now for other work". |
 "You took Travis to your home? How did it go?" "I don't bring people home to meet my family, after you watch the show you'll know why". |
 "The second date, what were you feeling?" "You're killing me. I don't know it's all a drunken haze, OK!" |
 "I don't understand why answering our questions is so hard". "Look, I'm just here to keep up the pretense of the show". |
 "I've never encountered another guy in my life who looked at me, wanted me and without thinking he'd have to pay for it". |
 "I felt like she knew Travis was already engaged to Sarah". |
 "What is it about Travis that attracts you to him?" "You mean aside from the fact that he's a doctor, right?" |
 "So how was the convo with the folks". "Even if I was interested in you I'd drop you for using words like 'convo'". |
 "I asked Sarah the same questions I asked Moana". "You can't compare the two women". "That's the whole point of us being here". "But you have to give Moana a break because Sarah isn't insane". |
 "It's hard for me because I now have to hurt one of these women, I like Sarah more but she's unlikely to boil my rabbit". |
 "I'm having a hard time, I'm gripping onto reality really hard but I'm still losing my hold". |
 "I can't believe you're here, I didn't think you could leave socal". "I had to get special permission from my parole officer". |
 "If you're going to be a doctors wife you should start getting used to shopping on other people's dime". |
 "Dear Diary, the bastards with the cameras still won't leave me alone". |
 "Oh my gosh. Mom! What are you doing here?" "I just popped across the pond for a visit". "Popped across the pond? You've never left Tennessee in your life!" |
 "Oh Moana, I never realised how fat your fingers were. You get that from your dad". |
 "That's my favourite". "It's the most expensive right?" "Right, I might be emotionally unstable but I'm not stupid". |
 "This is my favourite one" "Me too, it matches your heart". |
 "It's two carats, internally flawless which means it's worth more than your car". |
 "Can you see yourself saying 'yes' to Travis?" "For a rock like this? You betcha". |
 "This dress is amazing, each sequin was hand stitched by a nine year old little girl in Bangladesh". |
 "Travis needs to see this side of you, he needs to see that you have strong child-bearing hips". |
 "Aren't you cold?" "Freezing. But I'm a girl and girl's will suffer for fashion". |
 "Any time you talk about going on this bike ride or going up this mountain, I want to be there with you. I just want to spend every second of every day with you, but I'm not clingy". |
 "I'm definitely starting to fall in love with Travis. I know the show is called The Bachelor and that it's all about a guy finding someone to be his wife but I never thought there was any reality to this reality show". |
 What the? He couldn't find a spoon? |
 "I'm just so perplexed". "By what?" "By the whole algebra thing, why are there letters? It's supposed to be math". |
 "I walked through that door and I said, 'psst, I don't care who that guy is. I'm here for my fifteen minutes and I'll say and do anything I have to do to stay on the show for the whole season'". |
 "Hah, free dinner and I scored some bar glasses!" |
 "This is a big day, it's almost sleeve-worthy". |
 "This is the night where I decide between a woman I can see myself spending the rest of my life with and a nutcase from California". |
 "I can't believe it, no one in France has any beads". |
 Hey! What's that on her left ring finger?" |
 "I hope that the women I send hoe tonight will understand that I still want to head out to California and bang her after I've completed my contractual obligations". |
 "If I listen to my heart I can't choose you". "Well stop listening to your heart and listen to your pants, you're a guy for christ's sake". |
 "I can only hope the condom worked on our fantasy date". |
 "Where do I begin?" "You should start with 'will you' and end with 'marry me'". |
 "Will you... hang out me?" |
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